Existentialism in Ayu Utami’s Bilangan Fu: Freedom, Responsibility and the Absurd in Contemporary Indonesian Fiction

Abstract

This study examines the representation of existentialist philosophy in Ayu Utami's novel Bilangan Fu (2008), with particular focus on four interconnected dimensions: the search for existential meaning, individual freedom of choice, moral responsibility for decisions, and the experience of absurdity. Employing a qualitative descriptive approach and close reading as the primary analytical method, the study systematically identifies and interprets textual evidence through the theoretical frameworks of Jean-Paul Sartre and Albert Camus. The findings reveal that Utami constructs a nuanced existentialist landscape in which her characters—particularly the mountaineering protagonist—navigate extreme situations that foreground the tension between human desire for meaning and a world that resists rational totalization. Freedom in the novel is portrayed not as boundless autonomy but as an ethically laden condition intertwined with collective responsibility and self-discipline. The characters' confrontation with the absurd—manifest in paradoxical metaphysical formulations, the critique of modernity, and the irreducibility of subjective experience—reflects Camus's concept of the absurd hero who lives without appeal. This article argues that Bilangan Fu constitutes a significant site of philosophical literary engagement within the contemporary Indonesian novel, enriching scholarly discourse on the intersection of existentialism and postcolonial subjectivity. The study contributes to comparative literary studies by situating Indonesian fiction within transnational conversations about human existence, agency, and meaning-making.